Bedtime Stories
by badfanfictionaire
Summary: Gabriel turns Sam into a toddler, leaving a clueless Dean to try to tend to him. Dean resorts to asking Jo, Ellen, Bobby, Cas, and Ash for help. But, will he ever get Sammy back to normal? AU where Ellen, Ash, Jo, Bobby, and Gabriel are still alive and Cas is still an angel; the timing of the story isn't really of importance.
1. Stairway to Heaven

"Tell me a bedtime story!"

I look at him, still giddy and obviously not prepared for sleep, and scoop him up from his playpen. "Okay, one story, and then bedtime. Hmm... Let's see, do you know the one about the old woman trying to get into Heaven?" He shakes his head vigorously 'no' and curls up by my side, ready to listen. "Well, there's a lady who knows, all that glitters is gold..."

"Are you seriously telling him the lyrics to 'Stairway to Heaven' as a bedtimes story?" As she enters the room Jo gives me an 'are you serious?' stare and then sits in the chair across from us.

"It's the only story I can think of, okay? I don't do this whole... thing, whatever this is."

Jo rolls her eyes and leans over to take Sammy onto her lap, "You act like you've never seen a little kid before. Or like you ever were one, for that matter. Don't you know 'Jack and Jill' or 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'?" As she talks she carefully bounces Sam on her knee.

I shrug, "No, I guess I missed that storytelling lesson in school."

It's been four weeks since Gabriel turned Sam into a toddler and then vanished, leaving me to deal with a crying child that used to be my twenty-something brother. If Ellen and Jo hadn't offered to help, I would have been _beyond_ at a loss for what to do. Cas isn't good with people, let alone children. Bobby comes and helps when he can, but he has cases to work and things to do. So for now it's just me, Jo, Ellen, and Ash.

"Jo-Jo, do you know a story?" Sam looks up at her with pleading eyes and Jo smiles.

"Sure thing." She glances over at me and says quietly, "I got this, go take a walk or something."


	2. Things That go Bump in the Night

I nodded in appreciation and went out the back door so I could go outside where it was quiet. Once I was by myself I leaned up against the wall and took a deep breath. _Sammy's going to be fine. _I thought to myself reassuringly. _We can reverse this, we just need to find Gabriel... _ My stomach felt queasy, we hadn't had any luck finding a way to get Sam back to normal without some help from an angel who was M.I.A. Cas had been on the lookout for Gabriel since then, but nothing had turned up so far. There was no way I was going to be able to raise my little brother as if he was my child. I'd already pretty much raised him once, but that was different.

"Sam's asleep." I jumped and then realized it was Jo, standing in the doorway. "Do you want dinner? Bobby sent us a cooler full of chili."

"Yeah, I'll be right in. Thanks."

"Not a problem," she said with a smile.

"Hey... How are you so good with kids?"

Jo turned and put her back against the door-frame, thinking. "Well... I don't really know. I mean, Ash's sister used to bring his nephew over sometimes. That probably helped, you know, being around a kid."

"Huh... Since when does Ash have a sister?"

"Since before she decided he was a bad influence and moved across the country." The tone in her voice told me it was a topic in uncharted waters, so I let it go.

"Well, I'm really grateful for your help... This whole situation... I can't think straight. I don't do good with the whole 'being a dad' thing. It doesn't help that I'm worried about Sam and we can't find Gabriel anywhere..."

"Don't worry about it. Mom and I don't mind having you here, and Sammy too. We'd do the same if it was us in this situation."

I gave her a thankful smile and walked over towards her, "I'll help you with the chili."

Once inside we made our way to the kitchen where Ellen already had a big pot going on the stove. "I figured you two were hungry, babysitting that little rugrat all day."

We nodded gratefully and sat at the table, Ellen joined us. "Sammy was always an active little kid, that's for sure. He used to come here and run around the bar stools like weave poles on an obstacle course once the customers all left. Quiet, but full of energy."

"How many times did we come up and visit anyhow?"

"Whenever you passed through, but not that often. Probably three or four times when you were really little. Less once you boys were in middle school. But it was always nice having little ones around, you all kept Jo busy which was a tough feat."

Jo snorted, "Oh please, I wasn't that hyper."

Ellen smiled and patted her on the hand, "You keep telling yourself that Joanna Beth, but I remember a little girl who always had dirt smeared on her forehead and constantly scraped knees. Couldn't sit still to save her life."

I thought back, trying to remember visiting with them, but I couldn't pinpoint the memories in my mind. Childhood is a foggy time period for me because I unfortunately spent most of mine learning how to hunt things that go bump in the night instead of reading about them in bedtime stories.


	3. A Place to Lay Low

Ellen got up and started spooning chili into bowls, Jo joined her and started setting the table. They had both just gotten up when we heard the unmistakable sounds of a cranky toddler waking up from too short of a nap. "I got it," I said quickly, heading for the other room before either of them had time to object. Sam was just starting to stand up and open his mouth to wail when I walked in. "Hey there kid, how was the nap?"

Sam nodded and rubbed his eyes, then held his arms out asking to be picked up. "Do you want to watch Scooby Doo while the rest of us eat?" I asked him, scooping him up in the process. That received another groggy nod and a yawn. I walked over and clicked the TV on, setting it to the right channel. Then I spread out a blanket and set Sam on the floor with three pillows for an extra barrier of protection. "Okay, stay put and watch the show, I'll be back in a flash." I waited until he was settled and the show had come back from commercial to head into the kitchen.

Ellen and Jo were seated and waiting for me, dinner was on the table. "How's he doing?" Ellen asked, handing me a napkin as I sat down.

"Half awake but not screaming, that's all I can ask for."

Jo laughed quietly, "What high expectations you have."

Conversation lulled and we all dug in.

It was nice to sit and relax with the Harvelles, even if it was due to a really inconvenient situation. They had been so good to me during this whole time. When Gabriel first turned Sam into a baby I panicked and almost made the stupid mistake of going to a crossroads demon. But something had stopped me and I called Bobby first instead, just to see if he had any better ideas (which was inevitable, but I was going crazy). He told me to calm down and start finding a place we could lay low at for a while until he could figure something out (or track our conniving angel down). I gave the motel we were at two more days and then decided it was impossible to manage Sammy on my own (and avoid noise complaints).

I didn't know the first thing about trying to raise a kid this age on my own. Sure I had done it once with the shape shifter baby, but that was for a few days and all it did was poop eat and sleep. Toddler Sam needed more attention and he talked on top of all the other things that babies do. Which meant he could _really_ voice his needs, on top of the screaming.

I couldn't think of any hunters that would be able to help, most don't have families so they wouldn't know what to with a kid. And then it hit me, Ellen had Jo, she knew something about kids...

One thing had led to another and Sammy and I ended up at the roadhouse where we were whisked inside and hadn't left since.

My train of thought was broken when Jo and Ellen looked towards the doorway where Ash was standing with Sam on his shoulders. "Mind if I take the little dude to the grocery store with me? We're out of twizzlers and toilet paper."

Sam was pulling Ash's hair and had a big goofy grin on his face. I trusted Ash enough to know he would take good care of Sam so I nodded and the two of them headed out.


	4. Tinkerbell

Around eight Ellen took charge of bath time. Fifteen minutes later she handed me a squeaky clean Sam. "Bed time story?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Sure, sure." I sat on the couch and balanced him on my knee. "Okay, there once was a fairy princess named... Tinkerbell."

"What she look like? She pretty?"

"Um sure, she had blond hair brown eyes and ... Fairy wings."

"Why her name Tinkerbell?"

"Because she was a handy fairy, good at fixing things. And she was from the South so she was a belle. There you have it, a Tinker-Belle. So any way she lived in a diner and she helped her friends fix things and she didn't know she was a princess."

"Why?"

"Um... Because her fairy god mother never told her. So she lived a normal life and ate cheeseburgers... The end."

Sam made a pouty face and crossed his arms, "No fair."

"Why is that not fair? That's life. I mean she got to be a fairy at least, that's cool."

Sam shook his head, "She's a princess, why not say so?"

Jo wandered in and sat next to us, "What's up little man, ready for bed?"

"Not princess!" Sam yelled wanting an explanation.

"He's mad because Tinkerbell works at a diner."

Jo gave me a quizzical look, "You're on your own, I have no idea."

"Well look at it this way," I told Sam, "if Tinkerbell became a princess she'd have to go live in a castle and leave her friends and run countries and stuff. This way she can stay with her friends and be a regular fairy girl."

"You have entirely missed the point of a bedtime story: they don't have to be realistic, that's the point." Jo leaned back, twirling her hair around her finger.

"Fairytales are so unrealistic, they leave out the whole part about dragons stealing virgins and fairies enslaving people and stealing first borns... They stink; they make kids get the wrong idea."

She laughed, "Yeah because the real stories are so much better."

"What's so bad about working at a diner? Tink gets free pie and probably doesn't get ridiculed for being a fairy because she feeds people and people like food."

"Yes but it isn't fair that she can't live up to her full potential," Jo said, "The whole point is that she can aspire to be a princess because she has the opportunity. That's what bedtime stories are about, aspirations."

"Jo-Jo, you finish it," Sam commanded.

Jo cleared her throat and started twisting a tale that was probably more interesting than any story I could come up with. I sat and listened trying to pick up some pointers. By the end Sam was out like a light with his head resting on my stomach. Jo was gently rubbing his back and looked up at me, "And that, is how you end a story. With the sleepy kid sleeping. You don't even need an ending you just go with the plot until they fall asleep."

I tried not to laugh so I wouldn't wake him up, but it was difficult. That was actually a pretty good ploy.

"So this Tinkerbell," Jo said, "I take it she wasn't from Peter Pan."

"Say what now?"

"Have you seen _any_ kids' movies?"

"Apparently not that one, I only know Tinkerbell because this girl I dated was her for Halloween..."

"I'm beginning to think Gabriel did all this because you missed out on your whole childhood and he has a soft spot for you."

"I think he's a dick and did this to spite me."

"Probably, that sounds more accurate. So no word on his whereabouts?"

"Cas is working on it, but no."

She squeezed my hand and got up to go to bed. "We will figure this out, okay? Hang in there."

She went off to her room leaving me to my own thoughts and Sam's soft snoring. I picked him up gently and walked over to the cot I'd been sleeping on. I laid him down on the side and got in next to him, pulling the blanket up. Technically he slept in the playpen surrounded by pillows but that was during the day when we were all alert and watching him. Call me up tight but I felt better having him at a reachable distance when I was asleep and not watching.


	5. Dreams

Around four A.M. I was snapped awake by the light in the hall flickering on. I heard quiet footsteps and rolled over to see Jo looking into the living room. "Can't sleep?" I asked softly.

She looked startled to hear a voice coming from the dark but whispered back once she realized it was just me, "Never can, what else is new." She padded lightly into the room and sat on the couch, facing the cot. "Kind of hard to sleep when you know any moment the apocalypse part two could begin..."

I felt a small smile tugging at my mouth, "You're worried about me and Sam, aren't you."

It was dark but I swear you could see her blushing.

"You don't have to worry, we will solve this. Sam will be back to his gigantic self in no time and we will be back on the road and out of your hair."

"I'm just worried about you, you're obviously freaked out. You don't take kindly to people messing with Sam and I don't want you to do anything stupid. I know you almost made a deal, Dean. Bobby told me." She paused for a moment, and then finished, "I wouldn't worry about Sam, he has you looking after him."

"I swear I won't make a deal unless it becomes our last resort. But yes, I am a little freaked out by all of this. I raised Sammy once but things were different then... I just don't want to do it again."

I heard Jo sigh, "Even if you had to, you wouldn't screw up. Despite what you think. You're not so bad at this you know. You care enough; you just don't have the experience... You'd make a good dad..."

My eyes were finally adjusting to the dim light and I could see Jo staring at Sam who was sprawled across half of my torso and taking up half the cot at the same time. She looked like she was lost in a memory. For a while we just sat there in the silence, happy for the company but ungrateful for the insomnia.

"Did you ever want to have kids?" Jo asked softly, watching Sam roll onto his side, a happy sleepy smile on his face.

I thought about how to phrase my answer, it was a tough question believe it or not. "I guess no, but... If I ever had a child, well they would be the center of my world. I mean with Ben, I would have done all I could, but Lisa and I just didn't work out and..." I let my words trail off, not knowing what else to say. "Did you?"

Jo leaned back letting out a long slow breath, "For a split second about two years ago, I was ready to drop everything and have a family but... wrong place wrong time... The guy was right, just nothing else was..."

I tried to think back to where I was two years ago, but nothing was coming to mind at the moment. "Probably for the better," I mused, trying to be rational. "Hunters and kids... It's hard. I don't know how Ellen did it, but she did well."

Something sparkled in Jo's eye for a brief moment and she looked over at me, "Well there's always the future, right? Who knows, maybe someday the world won't need hunters anymore and people like us can finally be … _normal._"

I nodded in agreement, letting myself relax back onto the cot.

Jo pulled her feet up on the couch and rested her head on her hand.

I don't know long we stayed there, imagining what could have been and what still could be, but at some point we both fell asleep, lost in our dreams...


	6. I Have Hunch

It was eight thirty. Sam and Jo were still sound asleep. Sammy with his thumb in his mouth, taking up most of the room. Jo with her head on the armrest of the couch, curled into a tight ball. There was just a hint of sunlight coming through the curtains. It was so quiet I _almost_ felt relaxed. I laid there, thinking of ways to track down angels. Thinking of ways I could get Sammy back without having to make a deal with the devil... I was jerked away from my thoughts by the almost inaudible rustle of wings. I rolled on my side and looked towards the door. It used to freak me out when Cas just showed up out of the blue, but now it was almost a comfort to know he was always around. "Don't you think it's a little early for a home visit?"

Cas' face stayed blank and he walked over, taking a seat on the coffee table. "Dean, I have a hunch."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, good morning to you too, Cas... Alright, well what is it?"

"Gabriel isn't hiding from you; he's hiding from an angel."

"How is that helpful?"

Cas sighed, "He's using you and Sam as a distraction, if the other angels think you're after him they're going to watch your every move and use you to find him. But the catch is, he's probably watching them watch you, and where ever you're looking he can stay one step ahead. He's also probably hiding in plain sight, since no one is looking directly for him."

"Cas, haven't you been looking for him directly?"

"Yes, but not with the knowledge that he knows you've enlisted me. He's probably been following me around this whole time, laughing at my failure to realize it."

"So what does this mean? We have to start looking local? Looking behind us and see if anyone is following us around? What do we do now?"

He pursed his lips and folded his hands together, "I'm afraid, that if Gabriel really is running from an angel, he may be harder to find than we anticipated... He seems to have a price on his head, which is slightly more pressing than having turned a man into a toddler."

I had to remind myself it keep my voice down, but I could feel myself start to tense up. "Cas, I don't care who the hell Gabriel is hiding from, we find that son of a bitch and we get Sam back to normal. Is that clear? There's no other option."

"Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, I will keep looking... Goodbye, Dean." Wings rustled softly and Cas was gone.

I flopped over on my back, angry. I felt Sammy stirring next to me and rubbed his back gently. "We'll figure this out," I told him softly, "I know we will, we always do..."


	7. Zombie Mode

"So Cas says Gabriel is hiding in plain sight?" Jo looked at me over a spoonful of Cheerios. Beside the table we were sharing Sam was seated on the floor with his own bowl, sans milk for the sake of keeping the floor clean. Ellen was filling salt and pepper shakers behind the bar, prepping for the day. "Something like that," I said, "I guess he's watching us to see where we're looking for him, that way he's safe from whoever else is watching us to find him. Or something like that."

Ellen looked over at me with a puzzled look, "What I don't get is where he'd be hiding. He'd have to be an idiot to think he could pass for anyone of us without someone catching on."

I nodded, the last time Gabriel had hidden in plain sight Sam had figured it out eventually; spotting the things that made him stand out when we were at the Mystery Spot. He had a pretty good feel for reading people, something that came in handy a lot. This meant Sammy was our best shot at picking Gabriel from the line-up... But Sam was a babbling baby at the moment.

"I think we'd have picked up on it, or Cas would have, but nothing so far. He's got to be choosing something sneakier than we're anticipating."

Jo tapped her spoon on the edge of her bowl thoughtfully, "You don't think Cas is Gabriel?"

"I guess anything's possible, but I highly doubt it. If he is then we're shit out of luck."

"Well then forget I mentioned it, we're not going to go down the shit out of luck route right now."

"You want some more coffee hun?" Ellen asked, holding a fresh pot in my direction.

"Please and thank you," I replied gratefully, getting up from my seat.

"You look like you didn't sleep a wink; you might need a bigger mug."

"It's hard to sleep with a lot on your mind," I sighed. Ellen nodded and poured me a second cup, then started digging around for the sugar shaker.

I looked over at Jo who must have been relieved that Ellen hadn't seen her sleeping on the couch, a foot from where I was lying. If Ellen had the tiniest inkling that Jo and I did anything romantic whatsoever I'd probably end up flat on my ass in the parking lot. Not that she had to worry, our relationship wasn't even close to romance, but I knew Jo was cautious about the subject around her mom.

I heard Sam start to whine and Jo immediately bent down to scoop him up. "What's the matter Sammy? All out of Cheerios? Or are you just being fussy?"

Sam stayed quiet, staring at her with a lost expression plastered on his tiny face.

"Hey it's okay kiddo," Jo said, "You're okay." She bounced him gently on her knee but Sammy stayed mute.

"I wonder if adult Sammy's brain is still whirling around in there somewhere," Ellen mused behind me.

"Well there's a freaky thought," I responded, keeping my eyes fixated on my little brother.

"I mean, we don't really know how all of this played out. Right? For all we know this is big Sam condensed into little Sam. Or it's little Sam with big Sam trapped somewhere in there. I can't say I'm an expert on de-aging people."

"Well if he is stuck in there then that's all the more reason to unstick him." I took a long sip of my coffee and wandered over to Jo and Sam. "If you're in there Sammy, we're going to get you out, okay? Just hang in there, and knock it off with the creepy staring thing."

"Something tells me Sam's not in there, Dean." Jo looked at Sam like she was inspecting a crime scene. "I think this is literally Sam as a toddler Sam. He's probably freaked out that he's yet to see John since he's been around. If this really is baby Sam then I would assume he still considers John his dad."

"Well that's just dandy, because Dad isn't alive anymore, so little Sammy here's just going to kick into zombie mode and we can't do anything."

"Well if that really is what's going on, we've got to distract him..."

Sam's eyes suddenly grew wide and darted to something behind. I quickly turned around, assuming it was something to be reckoned with...

"We have a problem, Dean."


	8. Cavity Search

"Hello to you too, Cas."

His face stayed blank, unamused, and he walked over to me. "It occurred to me that if Sam were really turned back into himself from years ago that the engravings I placed on his sternum should not have stayed with him. The de-aging process would have erased all damage to his body that occurred after the age he was reset to. However it seems I still cannot locate him, which means the engravings are still viable."

"Great, so Sammy's still off the angel tracking list. Where does that put us?"

"I'll need to inspect Sam's internal cavity to verify my hunch, but until then all I can offer is that this may not be the real Sam." He took a step forward and reached out to take Sam from Jo, who immediately swung him out of Cas' reach.

"No one is searching anyone's internal anythings," I told Cas, stepping between him and Jo.

"If we want to find Gabriel we need to determine if this is Sam or not. If it isn't Sam we have a bigger problem on our hands."

I looked at Ellen who nodded her affirmation, and then at Jo who shrugged. "It's your choice Dean. Cas' the only one who will know if this is Sam, we can't read the engravings if they're there."

"Just... Don't hurt him, okay?" I said turning around so I would have to watch.

"I will just... make him go to sleep," Cas said, presumably using some angel voodoo to knock Sam (or not Sam) unconscious.

A few minutes later I turned back around, knowing it didn't take Cas long to do is little search routine. "What's the verdict, Cas?"

"This isn't Sam," Cas said in a flat tone.

"What the Hell do you mean it isn't Sam? I watched Gabriel poof him into a baby and high tail it out of that motel room."

Cas sighed, "The engraving on his sternum shouldn't have stayed with him since he's been completely de-aged. Gabriel's trickery is good but not perfect..."

I cut him off which caused Cas to give me an annoyed look, but I wasn't in the mood to listen to him. "Where is _real_ Sam then?" I asked angrily. And more importantly, if this wasn't Sam then who the Hell was it?

Cas shrugged, "I'm afraid I don't know, but we could ask Gabriel."

I looked at Cas in disbelief, "News flash, we can't find him! Cas this doesn't have anything to do with Gabriel anymore if he didn't even leave us with real Sam. Now we just have to find my brother, I don't give a rat's ass about a rogue angel if he can't fix... find Sam!"

Cas looked at me and calmly replied, "Perhaps I should have been clearer." He stooped over and picked up the fake Sam from Jo's lap, "We should ask Gabriel."

I opened my mouth to ask Cas if he thought this was some sort of joke, when before my eyes the fake little Sam morphed into a full sized Gabriel.

"Howdy boys."

"Son of a bitch..."


	9. A Little Vacation

I didn't waste very much time pinning Gabriel to the wall, my fist grabbing his shirt and digging into his throat. "Where's Sam?!"

"Relax, he's fine. I just sent him on a little... vacation. I'm sure he's having a fun time."

"This vacation of yours better end right now or I will kill your sorry ass."

Gabriel grinned broadly, "Dean Dean Dean, always worried about little Sammy. He's fine, don't you trust me? I just needed to borrow his position as your most prized possession for a little while until some stuff blew over."

"Well your stuff better have blown over because this isn't funny anymore," I let him down and took two steps back. "Take me to Sam. Now!"

He shook his head smirking, "I need to have a little chat with Cas first."

Before I could utter another word they had both vanished. Jo, Ellen and I stood there in silence.

"That is not how I was expecting this morning to go," Ellen muttered under her breath, finally breaking the silence.

Jo touched my arm lightly, getting my attention. "I'm sure he's fine, Dean."

I sure as Hell hoped she was right. Gabriel's idea of a 'fun time' and 'safe' weren't always on par with mine. My phone started ringing in and I hesitantly answered it because the number was unfamiliar.

"Hello...?"

"Dean?"

My stomach squirmed, it was Sam and the tone in his voice wasn't one I liked to hear. "Sammy where are you? Are you okay?"

"I... have no idea. I just woke up and I was standing in... well I think this is a gas station."

"Are you okay? Figure out where you are, I'll come get you."

"Dean, I'm fine. I'm just not quite sure what happened. The last thing I remember we were standing there and Gabriel swooped in. He dropped me off at some motel and told me he was going back for you, and now... Well, I'm here. Wherever here is."

"But you're not hurt?"

"No, not hurt. Just... Dean..."

"Yeah Sammy?"

"Well this is really... odd... but I'm... I don't have any clothes and there's a little kids shirt and pants here and a... a diaper..."

I smothered a laugh as best as I could and at the same time cussed out Gabriel in my head. "Sammy, figure out where you are and call me back. I'll go round up some clothes and come get you." I hung up and burst out laughing. Jo and Ellen looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "Sam's stranded in an abandoned gas station butt naked," I explained.

Jo covered her mouth and tried not to laugh, Ellen rolled her eyes and sighed in disgust.

I wasn't about to waste any time waiting around for Gabriel and Cas to finish their little talk, so I hugged Ellen and Jo and walked out to the parking-lot. I figured I'd hit up a drive-thru for breakfast and then figure out where to get Sam after he called.

I had a feeling Sam was going to be absolutely pissed when he found out what had happened, but for now I was trying to contain my laughter at his misfortune.


	10. Wicked Witches

When I arrived at Sam's location he was insistent I throw him the clothes through the door and not come in until he was dressed. I did as he said, not wanting to see him naked anyhow, and waited outside by the car. Five minutes later Sam hollered for me to come in and I did.

"So Sammy, I see you... uh... found yourself in a predicament. And I'm going to guess you want an explanation."

"Yeah, that would be great Dean," he growled, leaning up against the busted check-out counter.

"Well apparently Gabriel thought it would be hysterical to turn you into an infant and leave us to fend for ourselves while he went on a little holiday. But come to find out _he_ was _you_ as a baby and I was actually helping him hide from some angel bounty hunters."

"So... where have I been this whole time?"

"That part I don't know; but Gabriel and Cas poofed out of Ellen's like a couple of Wicked Witches so I couldn't ask."

Sam crossed his arms and shook his head, "So how long was I gone?"

"Almost five weeks." I'd been caring for him for just under a month, but it had felt like a lot longer than that.

"And you've been taking care of me this whole time?"

"Well what else was I gonna do? You're my brother Sammy. Jo and Ellen helped, and Ash. Bobby and Cas were working the case for the most part, trying to reverse the deaging process and find Gabriel."

"And you didn't realize that I wasn't me?"

"Sammy, you were practically a baby. How was I supposed to know you were acting funny? Of course you were acting funny, you were like a year old!"

Sam shrugged, "Well then that answers the question of why Gabriel picked the plan of action that he did, it would have been pretty hard to realize it was him unless something really strange happened."

"I only found out because Cas noticed that you didn't lose your angel engravings when the clock turned back. He said something about how you should have been completely wiped clean of any bodily markings you had from three years old to the present."

"So then the only question now is, how the Hell did I wind up here? Naked and with a pair of kiddie pants and a diaper next to me?" Sam sighed and stared out the window. His expression one of anger and confusion. Suddenly his eyebrows scrunched together and I turned to look just as the lights in all the stores next-door blew out.

"In coming!" I yelled, at which point we both ducked. For some unknown reason certain angels have a bad tendency of breaking a ton of shit when they come fluttering down from the Heavens.

Within seconds a pair of shiny black shoes and scuffed brown boots popped into view, accompanied by some glossy men's dress shoes.

"Boys," rang a voice I hated to hear, "I think Gabriel has some explaining to do."


	11. Moosling

"Crowley," I hear Sam grumble as he pulls himself to his feet.

"Should have known you were in on this," I say, standing up to face him. The gas station around us is completely in ruins, glass is shattered and what was left of the checkout counter is now a broken mess of sticks on the ground. Outside the unmistakable swirl of let over sulfur scented black smoke curled around the windows, a sure sign of a demon's presence.

"Not in on it," Crowley responds, "More like... a claims holder."

"That's still being in on it," Sam growls, his teeth bared like a dogs.

I step over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, my way of saying to hold his horses.

Cas' eyes the floor when he speaks up, like he's embarrassed to say what he's about to. "It seems we've been at the center of a very unamusing heist..."

"I just wanted to see if it worked," Gabriel whines unapologetically.

"You stole my fountain and then used it on this imbecile and hid from me!" Crowley's holding Gabriel by the collar of his shirt and his grip is tightening as he speaks.

My mind is racing, a fountain? What does a fountain have to do with Gabriel and Crowley feuding.

"The Fountain of Youth," Cas responds as if reading my thoughts.

"I had just acquired it from a very important deal with a less than friendly seller when this moron decided to take it for a test run," Crowley spat, glaring at Gabriel. Gabriel just grinned broadly and shrugged as if stealing the freaking Fountain of Youth was no big deal.

"Needless to say it works," Cas mumbles, "He dunked Sam into it after he stole it from Crowley, and then didn't have the reversal spell at hand. In the end he had to devise a way to hide out until he stole that from Crowley's seller. The rest you already know."

Gabriel's smirk was so wide it looked painful, "I wasn't about to throw myself into a fountain, just in case it didn't work right, so I found a guinea pig. And boy did it work swell! Unfortunately Crowley found out I stole the fountain so I stole little Sammy here's identity while I located the reversal spell. But don't worry, I found the real Sammy a good baby sitter while I was with you Dean-o."

"So you just threw him into a fountain and didn't even know what would happen!?" Sam's hand was on my shoulder now, holding me back. I want to punch the grin off of Gabriel's smug little face but I know we need answers first.

"Little Sammy was in good hands, I swear!"

"He left the little moosling with an old friend, Kwan Yin, the goddess of motherhood. If anyone knows how to take care of brats it's her, she's been around trillions of children after all."

"And then Gabriel did what, just hid out while you and Cas played hide and seek with him?" I snarled.

"Dean..." Cas' stared at me, apologetic and obviously completely sorry for what happened.

"Well this is all just fabulous," Sam grunts, "But how did I end up here?"

"I found the spell," Gabriel quipped back, "And then I threw you just far enough that while Dean went to gather you up I'd have a chance to sneak away... or that was the plan. But I got intercepted, and so here we are."

I could feel my hands clenching into fists, but Sam was still standing there with one hand on my shoulder, reassuring me that now was not the time for pummeling.


	12. The Fountain of Youth

Cas glanced over at Sam and I and I noted a small smirk on his face. "A word," he said, snapping his fingers.

I felt the breath rush out of me, and Sam and I were suddenly standing in a glamorous parlor with Castiel. "We should let them talk," Cas says calmly. My stomach is still swirly from his zapping me to where ever we were; I reached out and steadied myself with the back of a chair before responding. "Cas, where the Hell are we?"

"I thought we'd visit Crowley's fountain."

Sam looked puzzled, "Cas, I don't think this is a good idea. We already know what the fountain is capable of; I don't think anyone should visit it."

Cas sighed lightly; sometimes he forgets humans don't know everything there is to know about fancy magical stuff like the Fountain of Youth. "The fountain is only dangerous if used for too long. For example, dunking a person into its waters is actually quite dangerous. It can reduce someone to a zygote in just less than fifteen minutes. But if you take a small sampling of the water from its basin, it is virtually harmless. The most it will do is add an extra day to your life expectancy."

"So what's the word, Cas? We just gonna go on a field trip while Gabriel and Crowley duke it out?"

"I had other ideas," Cas mused, "I believe, it is time for Gabriel to get a taste of his own medicine. And Crowley, for that matter, could use a dose of humility."

He stepped over to the double doors behind him and gave them a gentle push. Behind them spanned a large silver fountain with pearlescent water spurting out the top of a three tiered spout. Atop the whole thing was a statue of a small girl, the three tiers formed her ballet tutu. Not quite what I had expected, but then again I hadn't really known what to expect.

"We should only need about five gallons for this to work successfully," Cas mentioned, as he started to walk around the fountain's perimeter.

I had no idea where this was going, but I was pretty damn sure I was going to like this plan.


	13. Parent Trap

"Cas I don't know if this is going to work," Sam muttered, anchoring some clear string to the floor and then pulling it up over the doorway to the Roadhouse.

Cas looked at Sam with an unamused expression, "I've seen this done in many movies, Sam. If done correctly it always worked. Especially in that one with the twin girls at camp."

"The Parent Trap! I love that movie."

Cas nodded approvingly, "Only they used what looked like chocolate sauce."

"Cas," Sam said suddenly, "You told Dean that an angel was after Gabriel, but if he stole Crowley's fountain then who was actually after him? And why couldn't Crowley find him?"

Cas blushed slightly, "I took the liberty of branding the both of you with protection from several of the higher ranked demons after you encountered the Phoenix. I thought it might come in handy in case either of you ever sustained severe burns and lost your anti-possession markings. As for the situation with Gabriel, it seems he has gotten increasingly good at pulling pranks on even his celestial brethren. I was under the impression he was running from Uriel. It had seemed they were feuding after Gabriel meddled in the year 1995 to stop the rise of a popular band he despises. But I was very, very wrong."

"So you're telling me Gabriel told you he went back in time and pissed off the Spice Girls, and that's what got Uriel's panties in a bunch?" I had to hand it to Cas, he was a pretty intelligent guy. But sometimes his naiveté took over and he mistook a bluff for the real deal.

"I'm embarrassed at my inability to see through his hijinks, but I think this scenario we're setting up should put things back into balance."

I smothered a laugh and looked out the window, to hide my smile from him. Outside Ellen and Jo were coming back from the store with a five-gallon bucket and some metal hooks. "Is it okay to come in?" Jo called from the parking lot.

Sam yelled back that it was fine and they came in, setting the bucket on the floor next to Sam's string rig.

"So the plan is we douse Gabriel and then Cas flies him and Crowley to where again?"

Cas walked over and started attaching the metal hooks to the bucket handle. "There's a safe house just a few miles north of here, it's been rendered impossible for demons to escape from or enter into by their own free will. Only an angel is able to pass through its perimeters freely, and they can do so with others in tow."

"Okay, so we toss them in the safe house and Crowley gets to see his precious fountain, and Gabriel gets to spend a little time with a pull-up on. I like it."

"This all seems a little unnecessary," Ellen said glancing at the string over the door where the bucket would soon be hanging.

"We're Parent Trapping them," Cas said proudly.

Jo looked confused, "You're making them get remarried?"

"He means the prank part, at the camp," I told her, which received a grateful look from Cas.

Jo laughed and helped Sam steady the door while he put the bucket up. Now all we had to do was taunt Crowley and Gabriel into coming here.


	14. Who Would've Thought

"You guys should go," I said to Jo and Ellen once we'd finished setting up. I was worried something would go wrong and they would get hurt, and then it was on me.

"No, not leaving," Jo replied crossing her arms over her chest, "I have to see this in action."

Ellen sighed, leaning up against one of the wooden beams in the Roadhouse. "And if she's not leaving, then I have to stick around."

Cas stood off to one side of the door, out of sight of anyone who was walking straight in. Sam and I stood right in front of the door, toward the center of the room.

"I pray to Gabriel to get his feathery, annoying ass down here…" I muttered under my breath, head down in prayer.

Sam glanced over at me with a 'because that's going to work' face, then back down at the ground. We stood there waiting for a moment, then glanced up. "I'm not sure this is going to be as easy as we had intended…" I said.

Cas put a finger to his lips and stared out the window. "They're coming," he mouthed, pointing.

Outside were two forms, bickering, and moseying to the door. I could hear Crowley grumbling about what and idiot Gabriel was for coming here, of all places, after what had happened to Sam. Gabriel was retorting that Sam and I were surely over it, because after all it was in good fun.

Both were somehow unaware of what was about to come.

The door to the Roadhouse flew open and Gabriel set one boot-clad foot on the threshold, mouth open with the words "Howdy boys" about to babble out. Crowley, not intending for Gabriel to be the center of attention, was right on his tail. Both were ready to put up a fight, staring straight ahead at Sam and I.

But then the water fell on them. Shimmery like a pearl in the afternoon light. And they were both silent.

"Crap…" Sam grunted next to me. We stared at the two figures before us. Two 'tween' boys stared back at us in sheer awe.

"I am under the impression our plan has… backfired," Cas sighed, stepping out of the shadows to inspect the damage.

"This is not good," I stated, crossing my arms and shaking my head. What the Hell were we supposed to do with Crowley and Gabriel as twelve year olds?

"No, this should suffice," Cas replied, setting a hand on one each boy's shoulder. "I imagine the hormones will get to them eventually."

"Cas, we can't leave two juveniles alone somewhere," Sam piped up, suddenly aware Cas was planning to zap the boys to la-la land.

Cas looked unphased, and with a blank expression he stated, "It's like that book "The Boy Who Cried Wolf"." And with that he, and mini Crowley and Gabriel, were gone.

"That is not at all what happened in that book, "Jo grumbled, popping up from her seat behind the bar and starting to walk out of the room. "Seems like all of you need a lesson in story telling…"

Sam and I watched her leave, Ellen following close behind. Once they were gone we sat down at the bar to talk.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Sam asked, fiddling with the stack of napkins Ellen had set out earlier.

"Cas will handle it," I replied firmly. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, yeah. Hey, thanks for taking care of me, even though it wasn't me…"

"Sammy, that's my job, okay? Don't worry about it. I just wish I'd figured it out sooner."

"It's good to be back," Sam murmured, "But it feels like I missed a lot of time."

"You'll catch up," I said, punching him lightly in the shoulder, "We'll have you potty trained in no time."

He rolled his eyes and got up to grab a beer from the fridge.

"Hey…. Do you remember what case we were working about two years ago to date?" It was a question that had been burning in my mind since Jo and I had talked.

"Um… you mean like right around the H.H. Holmes case? I mean, there were a few other odd jobs but none that stick out to me, why?"

"No reason…" _For a split second about two years ago, I was ready to drop everything and have a family but... wrong place wrong time... The guy was right, just nothing else was…_

Sam must have noticed when my face fell because he immediately changed the subject. "So what was Jo teasing us about storytelling for? What do you suck at telling bedtime stories or something?" Sam handed me a beer and sat next to me again.

I laughed, "Yeah, I suppose so."

"You never really were that great with them," Sam quipped, "But hey, that one about the woman and a really big staircase wasn't all that bad…"

I guess, as it turns out, Stairway to Heaven isn't all that bad as a bedtime story.

Who would have thought...


End file.
